By Sten Ivan
The Clark enjoy playing board games right after supper. ? 2012 Sten Ivan
He picks up his plate and cleans his spot at the table. He asks his mom whether he can get money if he helps clean up after supper. He will?get a dollar every day for a week if he does a good job.
He moves around quickly. He scrapes off the plates then puts them into the dishwasher. He wraps the leftover food and rearranges the table cloth.
Nahum is 10 years old; it?s been three and half years since the Clark family adopted him from Ethiopia.
Mary Clark said that a friend was working to open an orphanage in Ethiopia and together with her husband Gary,?they ended up adopting children from that orphanage.
?I have always wanted to adopt,? said Mary Clark, Nahum?s mother. ?It seemed really overwhelming at first, but for us it became really clear that adopting was what God had planned for us to do.?
It took the Eau Claire couple a year from the time they started the home study process to when they welcomed Nahum and his sister Molly to the United States.
Ethiopia ranks 2nd among countries for adoption by Americans, with 17,275 total adoptions. That figure is?up from being 16th in 2000, with 95 total adoptions. According a statement?released by U.S. Department of State of Intercountry Adoption, as of 2011.
The?growing number of international adoptions has lead to?a new challenge in handling the?post adoption adjustment process which includes understanding the child?s?culture of origin, potential health issues, language barrier and acceptance in the society.
Connie Usiak, a social worker for Luther Social Services, said that the transition process requires cooperation between the adopted children and the parents.
?It requires the parents to be sensitive with the child?s culture of origin and condition,? said Usiak. ?It is an ongoing process of adaptation for both the parents and the child.?
Usiak said that the adoptive parents are prepared with the home study in the early process of adoption to help educate them about physical and emotional needs as well as cultural differences. However, typically it still requires some time for parents to fully recognize the adopted child?s preferences and needs.
Mary?Clark said that the children?adapted pretty quickly to their surroundings and had no problem getting along with the Clark?s two biological children.
She?added that Nahum was HIV positive when they adopted him and they?are aware of the additional needs for his health condition.
?He takes medicine two times a day; he goes to the doctor more often than other kids,? said Mary Clark. ?He is strong and really active in sports; he is our healthiest child.?
The Clarks said that Nahum?s condition didn?t?make?the transition process? harder for the family.
The family learned to share?a household with an HIV-positive child and are able to compromise with his needs.
?It really is not big of a deal,? said Mary Clark. ?HIV only spreads through high-risk activities.?
The transition process,?though hard at first, ?has been manageable for the Clark family, but for others it came with a surprise.
Bill and Adrienne Cayley met in Ethiopia while doing mission work 10 years ago. After several miscarriages, the couple decided not to pursue costly?medical advances to have a biological baby. So they decided to adopt.
?We knew in our hearts that God made it so clear that we were going to adopt,? said?Adrienne Cayley. ??And it was two little girls.?
Bill?Cayley said that the choice came down to Ethiopia and China. ?But China has an incredibly long wait so we decided to go for Ethiopia,? he said.
The couple started the application in September 2008 and they welcomed the girls in February 2011. Millie was?2-and-a-half and Lily was 6 years old when they arrived?at the Cayley?s home in Eau Claire.
Adrienne Cayley said that it was a big transition for them because by the time they brought the girls home she was expecting her biological child.
?It?s not unusual for families to have a rough transition in the beginning,? said Marilyn Boeldt, the director of development at Adoption Resources of Wisconsin. Depending on the individual and certain circumstances, the adjustment process may or may not be easier.
?We did not have any kids? said?Adrienne Cayley. ?So to go from no kids to three kids in less than a year was a huge adjustment. ?
Boeldt said that parenting a child adopted from another country results in joys and challenges that happen when two cultures come together.
Adopting a child from another race or culture requires parents to examine their own lifestyle and community and to view them through the child?s perspective.
?We still have some bumps in the road, but what family doesn?t?? said?Adrienne Cayley.? ?It?s been hard, but also rewarding and now it?s good.?
The girls go to church every Sunday and participate in Sunday school along with their new friends.
Laura Michaelson is one of the Sunday school teachers at the Bridge Church in Eau Claire and has observed Nelly and Lily interact? with other children.
?They work with other kids really well,? said Michaelson. ?They were getting their things done but they were also able to have fun and play with each other.?
Both girls participate in class and are eager to speak if there is a chance. Michaelson said that she had not seen any problems with how other children treat the two girls.
?They will approach her (Lily) to play games with them,? said Michelson. ?The kids respond to her just as they would with the other kids in the classroom. ?
Michaelson said that she enjoyed spending time with the girls and glad that they were able to adapt well with other children.
For Mary Clark there have been joyful days but sometimes she has to stop and remember that it is not always necessarily joyful. ?For them mother?s day is not only a day about me but also about a mom that is in heaven now, and celebrating her too,? she said.
?Out of great pain comes great beauty,? said Mary Clark. ?And that?s what we?re trying to live on.?
Mary Clarks added that she choose to embrace their children?s story and walk through it with them.
Nahum continues to clean up the tables and pick up some food on the floor. He asks for cookies that were baked earlier. He makes sure he did a good job cleaning so he can earn his first dollar of the week.? He then joins the family to play some board games.
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Source: http://www.insideec.com/?p=24848
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